is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
