I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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