i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
