I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
