Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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