if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
