i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
