By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
