I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
