i jhust puked up my retainher.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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