Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
