Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
