There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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