Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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