My liver just broke up with me...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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