Umm I'm too high to move.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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