There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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