So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
