my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
