my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
