So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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