i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
