Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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