It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
