she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
