Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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