You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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