also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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