im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize