laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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