No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
