check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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