i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
