Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
