I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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