you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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