i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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