He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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