I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
should my penis look like a turkey
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
