I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Are my feet made of real feet?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
