Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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