he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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