No stitches, just platelets and will power
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
