I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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