Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
