Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
