I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
