Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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