I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
