Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
