I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
