If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
