Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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