I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
