Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
