Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
