He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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