youre lurking in front of me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
